101 Reasons Not to Drink This May Long Weekend
The easiest list I’ve ever made.
I’ve written some hard shit in my life.
Eulogies. Apologies. Exit letters.
But this?
This list was easy.
Because when you’ve lived on both sides of the bottle, you start to see things real clear.
If you’re even thinking about not drinking this May long read this.
Then read it again Sunday night when your old self tries to creep back in.
THE LIST:
You said you were done.
“Just one” has never been “just one.”
Hangovers aren’t funny in your 40s.
Neither is high blood pressure.
You don’t heal by escaping.
Drinking makes your anxiety worse.
Same with depression.
It fucks your sleep.
It messes with your hormones.
Alcohol is a literal carcinogen.
Liver damage doesn’t reverse easily.
Gut health? Trashed.
Your immune system? Compromised.
Drinking kills gains.
Belly bloat isn’t from carbs.
Testosterone plummets.
Cortisol spikes.
Skin gets dry and dull.
Eyes get glassy.
Your face starts to sag.
That redness? Liver stress.
That weight? Liquid sugar.
You’re dehydrated—chronically.
You're not 25 anymore.
You don’t recover like you used to.
You don’t act like you used to either.
Your kids see it.
Your partner feels it.
Your parents worry.
Your friends tiptoe around it.
You’ve already embarrassed yourself.
The apology tour is getting old.
You’re tired of being "that guy."
Or “that girl.”
You said last time was the last time.
You meant it.
You're not fun drunk.
You're not smarter.
You're not cooler.
You're not sexier.
You’re just louder and sloppier.
And sometimes mean.
Sometimes sad.
Sometimes numb.
You don’t even like the taste.
You don’t even like you when you drink.
Blackouts aren’t stories, they’re warnings.
“Missing pieces” is not a vibe.
Waking up in shame again? Nah.
Drunk texts ruin shit.
Drunk sex ruins more.
Your ex is not the answer.
Neither is that late-night Uber to nowhere.
You’ve been here before.
It never ends well.
Drinking doesn’t solve boredom.
Or loneliness.
Or trauma.
Or grief.
Or the fact that you feel stuck.
You’re not stuck, you’re sedated.
You don’t need a drink. You need courage.
Or therapy.
Or sleep.
Or water.
Or a fucking hug.
You’re avoiding the work.
And the work is where your freedom is.
You’ve wasted enough weekends.
You’ve wasted enough years.
Alcohol is a time thief.
A dream killer.
A relationship burner.
A peace taker.
A liar.
It whispers, then it owns you.
Your ambition can’t survive this habit.
Neither can your purpose.
Or your family.
Or your soul.
Sobriety isn’t boring.
Chaos is boring.
Predictable hangovers are boring.
Being clear-headed is a superpower.
So is consistency.
You’re tired of repeating the same bullshit.
You’re tired of being tired.
You’re tired of pretending.
Sobriety won’t fix everything..
But drinking breaks what’s already cracked.
You're smarter than this.
You're stronger than this.
You're not here to numb. You're here to live.
You've got shit to build.
People to love.
Kids to raise.
Dreams to chase.
Battles to win.
A story to rewrite.
And this long weekend might just be the start.
Because you fucking deserve to know who you are without it.
So don’t drink.
Not because you “have” to.
Because you’re finally ready to stop running.
This list doesn’t need a bow on it.
You know exactly which number hit you hardest.
That’s where the work starts.
Much Love,
Coach P 🤘
