The Fool's Badge of Honor: I Don’t Need Help
You ever meet those people who think asking for help is some kind of weakness?
Like if they take advice, it stains their badass leather jacket of independence?
Yeah.
I used to be one of them.
Proud card-carrying member of the "I Got This" club.
And here’s the dirty little secret:
That mindset?
It’s the fastest route to stuck.
In Baseball…
You see it all the time.
Kid hits .220 for a season, but walks into the cage like he's Barry Bonds.
Refuses to adjust his hands, refuses to tweak his approach.
Why?
Because some coach told him he was a stud when he was 12, and now he thinks feedback is beneath him.
I’ve scouted these guys.
They don’t make it.
They end up beer-league legends with war stories about how "the politics" held them back.
No, buddy.
Your ego did.
Or maybe your curiosity died.
Harvard Business Review found athletes who actively sought feedback improved performance by 28% over those who didn’t.
Refusing feedback isn’t grit it’s a shortcut to the bench.
In Recovery…
It’s the same damn thing.
Guys walk into meetings arms crossed, smirking like they got the secret sauce.
They’ll “figure it out themselves.”
They don’t need steps.
They don’t need mentors.
They definitely don’t need some dude with 20 years clean telling them how it is.
Fast forward a year?
They’re the guy blowing up your phone at 3AM.
Or worse...
They're the ghost nobody talks about anymore.
According to SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration), people in recovery who engage with peer mentors and accountability structures are 33% more likely to stay clean long-term.
Trying to lone-wolf it is a bet you lose 9 times out of 10.
In Business…
Same playbook.
Owner builds a company from scratch, gets it to six figures, suddenly thinks they’re Steve Jobs.
Won’t take feedback.
Won’t hire a consultant.
Won’t listen to the 10 people telling them their systems suck.
They ride that stubborn train straight into bankruptcy court.
71% of fast-growth companies credit executive coaching and outside mentorship as key factors in scaling past plateaus.
Yet 42% of small business owners admit they never ask for outside help.
Why?
Because they confused being self-made with being self-sabotaging.
They lost the one thing that scales faster than skill: curiosity.
And Here’s What I’m Seeing Right Now…
I’m in talks with two separate families.
Both parents trying to help their kid get out of their own damn way.
And the kids?
They want to do it their way or no way.
Don’t want coaching.
Don’t want guidance.
Don’t even want to be curious about a shortcut that could save them a decade.
And you know what that is?
It’s a character flaw.
It’s the flaw of only doing things the way you see them.
The flaw of thinking the path has to feel hard, raw, rebellious.
Like if it feels uncomfortable, it’s wrong.
Like if someone else gives them the playbook, it means they didn’t earn it.
Wrong.
It’s the flaw that buries talent in the dirt.
It’s the flaw that keeps you repeating the same mistakes, thinking it’s grit when it’s just plain stubbornness.
It’s the flaw that kills curiosity, which is the real superpower behind growth.
Want to Know Who Asks for Help?
The best do.
The smartest do.
The ones who get it.
Mookie Betts, a six-time Gold Glove outfielder, proactively sought the expertise of former All-Star shortstop Troy Tulowitzki to transition into the shortstop position. Tulowitzki, now coaching at the University of Texas, worked with Betts during the offseason to refine his skills and mindset for this challenging role .
Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympian, collaborated with coach Bob Bowman throughout his career. Their partnership was instrumental in Phelps' record-breaking performances, emphasizing the significance of a strong coach-athlete relationship.
Serena Williams, renowned for her dominance in tennis, worked with coach Patrick Mouratoglou to fine-tune her game, leading to multiple Grand Slam titles during their collaboration.
Bill Gates, co-founder of Microsoft, has openly discussed the value of coaching, stating, "Everyone needs a coach." He sought guidance to enhance his leadership and philanthropic endeavors.
Eric Schmidt, former CEO of Google, credited his executive coach, Bill Campbell, for providing crucial insights that shaped his leadership style and decision-making processes .
Denise Shull, a performance coach specializing in decision-making under pressure, has worked with hedge fund managers and professional athletes to optimize their mental strategies .
Demi Lovato enlisted life coach Mike Bayer during her recovery journey. Bayer's support extended beyond traditional coaching, assisting Lovato in establishing the Cast Centers, a treatment facility focusing on mental health and wellness .
Robert Downey Jr., after facing personal challenges, worked with various coaches and mentors to rebuild his career, leading to his iconic role as Iron Man.
Oprah Winfrey has consistently emphasized the importance of coaching and mentorship in her personal and professional growth, often attributing her success to the guidance she received.
You think these killers can’t do it alone?
Of course they can’t.
Nobody can.
But they did something the stuck never do:
They stayed curious.
They stayed open.
They kept chasing questions, not just answers.
The more you grow?
The more you realize you don’t know shit.
Like, the higher you climb the mountain, the more mountains you see.
And what do the smart ones do?
They sprint toward help.
They sprint toward curiosity.
They beg for feedback.
They invest in mentors, in coaches, in people who can spot their blindspots before it costs them the whole damn show.
You stop wearing “I don’t need help” like a badge.
You start wearing “What else can I learn?” like a tattoo.
I do it now.
And it took me eating pavement for years to figure it out.
I chased baseball dreams, business goals, sobriety—all of it thinking I could muscle through on my own.
Ego told me to be the lone wolf.
Reality beat the hell out of me until I finally sat down and shut up long enough to let people teach me.
So if you're reading this thinking,
"Not me. I'm built different."
You're the exact person I’m talking to.
And if you’re nodding, thinking “Damn, that was me…”
Good.
You evolved.
And if you don’t?
You’ll repeat.
That’s the law.
Get over yourself.
Ask for help.
Stay curious.
And next time someone offers advice?
Don’t swat it away like a fly.
Open the door.
Ask the question.
Get curious about the other side of your comfort zone.
You might just save yourself a few years of unnecessary pain.
And listen
I don’t have all the answers.
Not even close.
But I’ve been down enough roads, crashed enough times, and sat in enough ugly truths that I bet my perspective might interest you.
And if it does?
Cool.
If not?
Stay curious enough to find someone else's that does.
