Validation ≠ Transformation
Why Showing Off Is Killing Your Growth
Everybody wants to show you.
Look at me.
Look at what I’m doing.
Look how hard I’m working.
Look how sober I am.
Look how much I’m grinding.
It’s all eyewash.
Eyewash is a baseball term.
It means performative effort.
Looks good. Does nothing.
Here’s some examples of “EYEWASH”
Baseball
Doing extra cage swings when the roving coordinator or coach is watching… but skipping early cage when it’s just the team.
Running hard on TV games only but strolling when it’s a backfield scrimmage.
Pimp-walking after a walk like you’re Barry Bonds, but never once running out a ground ball.
Hitting the gym in full sleeves cut off, headphones on blast, mirror selfies but barely lifting anything heavier than your ego.
Talking about how much you “love the game” while constantly complaining about bus rides, meal money, and small crowds.
Picking up balls only when coaches are present otherwise acting like someone else will do it.
Wearing eye black and wrist tape like you’re in the Show, but batting .170 in high school in Canada.
Talking leadership and 'grind' after a 3-hit day but sulking and hiding after an 0-for-4.
Bouncing around the dugout like you’re locked in… until you strike out and spend the next 3 innings sulking.
Showing up early for BP when scouts or recruiters are around then disappearing when it’s time to pick up the bag.
Recovery
Posting selfies outside meetings… but never saying a damn thing inside the room.
Wearing recovery merch and wristbands but still hanging with the same triggers and excuses.
Doing the daily journal prompts… and lying on every page.
Showing up to therapy… but talking about how ‘good you’re doing’ instead of doing the work.
Doing sober challenges for Instagram while hiding relapses from your closest people.
Talking about ‘growth’ on social media ghosting your accountability partner when you’re slipping.
Preaching ‘vulnerability’ in a post… but still keeping your darkest shit buried.
Buying books, courses, and workshops… but never finishing any of them.
Switching addictions (booze for work, food, or sex) telling yourself it’s ‘progress.’
Celebrating clean milestones publicly while quietly bending your own rules behind closed doors.
Business
Staying late at the office to look committed but scrolling your phone for 2 hours.
Sending long-winded ‘strategy’ emails filled with buzzwords while avoiding the hard decisions.
Attending every meeting, nodding aggressively contributing absolutely nothing.
Launching a ‘rebranding’ project while ignoring the dumpster fire that is your customer experience.
Posting about ‘CEO mindset’ at 5am but hitting snooze on the actual work that grows your business.
Hiring a social media agency to make your company look innovative while you avoid investing in your broken operations.
Throwing motivational quotes on the office wall while micromanaging your people into misery.
Handing out ‘Employee of the Month’ plaques while quietly slashing bonuses.
Filling your bookshelf with leadership books never opening a single one.
Spending 2 weeks preparing a PowerPoint still can’t explain what the hell your company does.
It’s the illusion of effort.
And the world eats it up.
But here’s the real danger and it’s backed by behavioral science:
External validation does not equal internal change.
Worse: it tricks you into thinking it does.
You feel seen so you stop doing the real work.
You get the dopamine hit from the likes, the praise, the applause...
but nothing under the hood has changed.
A 2022 study in Psychology of Addictive Behaviors found that individuals who frequently post about their sobriety online without deep habit restructuring relapse at nearly twice the rate of those who quietly focus on daily behavior change.
Why?
Because they confuse public acknowledgment with private transformation.
Same in sports.
Same in business.
Same in life.
I’ve been a scout. I’ve seen it a thousand times.
The kid who floods social with hype videos, fancy gear, and swing edits?
Usually folds when I show up unannounced.
The one who’s been quietly training for years without needing a parade?
That’s the guy who shows me something when it counts.
In recovery?
Same epidemic.
People change their wardrobes, their Instagram handles, their friend groups
but not their wiring.
In consulting?
I walk into companies full of "motivational culture" and LinkedIn flexing
but the systems are garbage.
No one’s doing the real hard work:
clarity, accountability, structure.
Validation without transformation is just ego rehab.
It makes you feel better about not changing.
And yeah…
I’m writing this because I did it, too.
I was KING of the eyewash.
I flexed my way through baseball, business, even recovery.
Telling people how hard I was grinding.
Telling myself I was different.
But I wasn’t.
I was chasing external validation like it was oxygen
while rotting inside.
That’s why this post exists.
Because as much as I see it in others?
I saw it in the mirror first.
And here’s the part most people choke on:
If you don’t evolve, you repeat.
Period.
No matter how good your caption game is.
Here’s the hard truth:
You don’t need to post about your grind.
You don’t need to tell the world you’re better.
You don’t need a medal for showing up.
You need to shut up and stack days.
In silence.
Where it counts.
People who matter? They notice.
People who don’t? Let them scroll.
You either build it in the dark…
Or you perform it in the light.
And when the lights eventually go out?
Only one of those keeps you going.
So how do you change it?
Here’s the unsexy, unshareable, unpopular answer:
Shut the F up.
Stop posting about it. Stop talking about it. Stop announcing it.Pick one thing you say you’re working on... and do it quietly for 30 days.
No hashtags. No status updates. No applause fishing.Track your actions, not your likes.
Did you train?
Did you stay sober?
Did you show up?
Yes or no. Every day. That’s the scoreboard.Find someone who holds you accountable, not someone who claps for you.
Hire them. Beg them. Pay them if you have to.
Because your brain will try to trick you into believing you’re doing the work when you’re just doing eyewash.Build in the dark.
If you can’t do the work without needing a witness, you’re not ready.
It’s not complicated.
But it is hard.
And most won’t do it.
They’ll keep showing instead of doing.
But if you can?
You’ll lap the field.
Because when they’re still showing?
You’ll be evolving.
Everything else is eyewash.
