Blindspots, Loopholes, and the Bullshit We Can’t See

Let me tell you something straight:
You’re not as self-aware as you think you are.

Neither am I. Neither is your boss, your partner, your coach, your parents, or that influencer you can’t stop hate-watching.
We are wired to miss the stuff about ourselves that matters most our behavioural blindspots.

These aren’t little quirks or funny habits you joke about over beers.
These are the deep, baked-in patterns that shape how you respond to stress, love, failure, risk, power, and pain.

Honestly…you don’t know you have them.
Why?
Because they’re blindspots. That’s the whole damn point.

Why We Don’t See Our Own Crap

Let’s drag in some behavioural science:
Your brain runs on predictive shortcuts.
It’s constantly stitching together memories, assumptions, past experiences, and emotional cues to make sense of the world.
If it had to consciously analyze every word, glance, or reaction you make, you’d burn out before noon.

So, you run on autopilot.
You trust your gut, you follow your patterns, you replay your old stories.
And over time, those shortcuts become you.

Blindspots form in the cracks between:

• what you think you’re doing,

• what you’re actually doing, and

• how others experience you.

And because they’re invisible to you, they’re hard to change.
It’s why the narcissist thinks he’s “just confident.”
It’s why the people-pleaser thinks she’s “just being nice.”
It’s why you think you’re “just being honest” when you’re actually bulldozing everyone around you.

Common Blindspots (You’re Probably Carrying One)

Let’s get real.
Here are some of the most common blindspots people drag around, often without a clue:

• Athletes:
  Believing toughness means ignoring pain. Refusing to listen to coaches they don’t like. Thinking mental training is “soft.” Assuming they’re entitled to leadership because of talent, not character. Comparing themselves to others and burning out chasing validation.

• Men:
  Equating anger with strength. Avoiding emotional conversations by “staying busy.” Assuming they’re carrying the heavier load just because they work long hours. Believing sex equals connection. Acting like asking for help makes them weak.

• Women:
  Thinking they have to be perfect before they speak up. Saying yes out of guilt. Assuming they need to be both career superheroes and perfect moms. Apologizing for things that aren’t their fault. Hiding ambition to be more “likable.”

• Bosses/Managers:
  Believing their team can read their mind. Mistaking silence for agreement. Thinking feedback only flows one way (downward). Underestimating how their moods shape the room. Assuming people leave jobs just for money, not culture.

• Business People/Entrepreneurs:
  Falling in love with their own ideas. Ignoring early red flags because “we’re on a roll.” Believing hustle culture is the only path. Underestimating how much relationships drive long-term success. Thinking “busy” equals “productive.”

• Parents:
  Projecting their own childhood wounds onto their kids. Expecting their kids to fulfill the dreams they never chased. Assuming discipline is the same as control. Thinking love means solving every problem for their child. Not realizing they model the behaviour their kids copy — good and bad.

• Friends/Partners:
  Assuming the other person “just knows” how they feel. Keeping score in the relationship. Avoiding hard talks because they’re afraid of rocking the boat. Believing they’re giving more than they actually are. Confusing attention with presence.

Notice the pattern?
Blindspots aren’t just flaws they’re often strengths overextended or coping strategies gone stale.

How to Spot Your Own Blindspots

You need mirrors.
Not the bathroom kind the human kind.

You need people who will give it to you straight:

• Mentors.

• Coaches.

• Partners.

• Friends who love you enough to call you on your shit.

Ask them:
“What’s something about me I’m missing?”
“What patterns do you see me repeat?”
“What’s one habit or behaviour that’s holding me back?”

Yeah, it’ll sting.
Yeah, you’ll want to argue.
But if you can sit with it, really sit with it, you’ll start to see the edges of your own behavioural maze.

And once you see it, you can start making choices.
Not knee-jerk reactions, not unconscious reruns — real, intentional choices.

How to Leverage Others’ Blindspots

Now here’s where things get interesting.
Want to gain an edge in business, relationships, or leadership?
Start spotting their loopholes.

Every person you meet is walking around with invisible assumptions:

• The client who panics when they lose control.

• The competitor who always overextends on ego.

• The boss who can’t handle uncertainty.

• The partner who folds when faced with conflict.

• The teammate who craves approval and avoids risk.

If you can identify where someone’s blind, you can:

• Anticipate their moves.

• Lead with empathy or precision.

• Position yourself more effectively.

• Guide decisions without brute force.

This isn’t manipulation it’s advanced awareness.
It’s knowing that authority, influence, and advantage don’t come from being the loudest or smartest in the room.
They come from seeing what others can’t see including themselves.

Why This Can Advance You or Break You

Here’s the paradox:
Your blindspots can both hold you back and propel you forward.

If you ignore them, you’ll hit invisible walls over and over.
You’ll blow up relationships, stall your progress, lose opportunities, and wonder why things feel harder than they should.

But if you learn to map them in yourself and in others you move through life with secret clarity.
You waste less energy.
You learn faster.
You adapt faster.
You win faster.

Not because you’re better but because you’re not wasting time pretending you don’t have blindspots.

Final Thought

Look, I’m no saint.
I’ve crashed headfirst into my own blindspots more times than I care to admit in love, in work, in how I chase too hard or pull away too fast.
But here’s the truth: the goal isn’t to be perfect.
It’s to be aware.

That awareness?
It’s your leverage.
It’s your edge.
It’s the difference between playing small and playing smart.

So do yourself a favour.
Drop the ego.
Ask the hard questions.
And next time you sit across from someone, watch for the cracks they can’t see.

That’s where the real power lives.

WORKSHEET:

Want to actually do something with all this?
Here’s a simple worksheet to help you dig into your blindspots and start using them as a tool, not a trap.